Sometimes , i just feel that nobody understands me . I feel that i'm pain in the ass . I really tried to be a good friend . I treasure my gfs above my boyfriend / friends . I treat them as sisters , best friends forever . But idk if they really do . I just want to be alone . Nobody knows how i feel . Nobody knows how freaking hard i'm trying to skip 1 - 2 meals a day just to slim down to my ideal weight , so nobody will think that i'm fat . Maybe i'm really ugly that you all cannot stand it . I should just wear a mask out , so you guys won't ask people things like do you think Rebekah is pretty ? Maybe with that mask , i'll look nicer . So it won't affect you all anymore . I'm tired of my life . I just want happiness . I tried all my life , with my whole might , to look for happiness . It comes and go , when will it stop and stay with me ?